by Beth Lewis | Jul 24, 2025 | Beth Lewis, Self Care
The Myth of Putting Yourself Last
If you’re a mum chances are you’ve been told at some point that self-care is something nice to do when you have spare time.
But here’s the truth. For mums self-care isn’t a luxury. It’s survival. There is a difference between self-care and self-pampering!
When you’re running on empty everything feels harder. Patience wears thin. The smallest things feel overwhelming. And the guilt creeps in.
You’re not failing. You’re just depleted. And you deserve to be filled back up.
What Happens When You Don’t Pause
Skipping meals, brushing aside your needs, and pushing through exhaustion are not badges of honour.
They’re warning signs that your nervous system is running in overdrive.
You start to disconnect from yourself. You lose the joy in everyday moments.
And eventually burnout shows up.
The truth is you can’t give your best to your family if you’re constantly giving them what’s left of you.
Self-Care Is Your Reset Button
Self-care is not about expensive spa days or long weekends away.
It’s about coming back to yourself in small, powerful ways.
It might look like five minutes of quiet breathwork in the car before school pick-up.
Saying no to something you don’t have the capacity for.
Choosing a nourishing meal instead of another coffee.
Paying attention to your thoughts and language, and choosing to reframe these to more empowering patterns.
These small moments add up.
They tell your mind and body you matter.
And that changes everything.
That’s Why I Created the Ultimate Self-Care Guide for Mums
This free guide is for the mum who feels like she’s holding it all together – but barely.
Inside you’ll find simple, daily self-care tips that work with your busy life.
Gentle ways to release mum guilt so you can finally put yourself on the list.
Ideas that don’t cost a thing but offer real replenishment.
Tools to create a routine that actually sticks.
And a big dose of encouragement to remind you that you are worth the care you give to others.
You Don’t Have to Earn Your Rest
You don’t have to reach the end of your rope to start caring for yourself.
You can choose a different story. One where your needs matter.
Where rest, and joy, and breath are woven into the fabric of your day.
And where you model to your children what it looks like to honour your whole self.
Take the First Step
Download The Ultimate Self-Care Guide for Mums
It’s free. It’s real. And it might just be the reminder you need that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s how you rise.
by Beth Lewis | May 29, 2025 | Self Care
If you’ve ever said yes to something you really didn’t want to do…
If your calendar is packed with commitments that drain you…
If you find yourself snapping at the kids because your tank is completely empty…
It might be time to strengthen your boundaries, Mumma.
And that starts with one powerful word: no.
But here’s the truth:
Saying no doesn’t make you selfish.
It makes you strong, self-aware, and emotionally healthy.
Let’s talk about why boundaries are essential in motherhood—and how to start setting them with more clarity, confidence, and love.
What Are Boundaries (and Why Do Mums Need Them)?
Boundaries are the limits we set to protect our time, energy, wellbeing, and emotional safety.
They are not walls—they are bridges to healthier relationships, including the one you have with yourself.
As a mum, your time and energy are constantly in demand. Without boundaries, you risk:
- Burnout
- Resentment
- Overwhelm
- Disconnection from your own needs
Boundaries are a form of self-respect. And when you model them, your kids learn to respect theirs too.
Why Saying No Feels So Hard
Most mums are natural nurturers. You want to help. You want to be there. You want to do the right thing. But…
- You don’t want to disappoint anyone
- You feel guilty for not being “nice”
- You’re scared people won’t understand
- You’ve been taught that your worth comes from doing for others
Sound familiar?
The truth is: people-pleasing might win you approval, but it won’t give you peace.
Saying yes to everyone else while saying no to yourself only leads to emotional depletion.
The Benefits of Saying No (Yes, There Are Many!)
When you start setting healthy boundaries, you’ll notice:
- More energy for what actually matters
- Less resentment toward the people you love
- Greater self-trust because you’re honouring your own needs
- Stronger relationships built on mutual respect, not obligation
And best of all? You start to come home to yourself.
How to Set Boundaries Without the Guilt
✅ 1. Check In With Yourself First
Before agreeing to anything, pause and ask:
“Do I really want to do this?”
“Is this a yes from obligation or alignment?”
If it’s not a genuine yes, it’s a gentle no.
✅ 2. Start Small
Practice with low-stakes situations:
- Decline a playdate you don’t feel up for
- Say no to volunteering (again) at school
- Skip the event that’s more stress than joy
You don’t need a huge reason. Your peace is reason enough.
✅ 3. Use Kind But Clear Language
You can be firm and kind at the same time.
Try:
- “Thanks so much for thinking of me, but I’ll have to pass this time.”
- “I’m not available, but I hope it goes well!”
- “That doesn’t work for me right now.”
No explanation needed. No apology required.
✅ 4. Remember: No is a Full Sentence
You don’t owe anyone an essay.
People who love and respect you will honour your boundaries. Those who don’t? That’s a reflection of them, not you.
✅ 5. Teach Your Kids by Example
When you say no with grace, your children learn that it’s safe to express their own needs too.
You’re not just protecting your energy—you’re modelling emotional intelligence and self-worth.
But What If People Get Upset?
They might.
That’s okay.
Not everyone will understand your boundaries, especially if they’ve benefited from you not having any. That discomfort is temporary. But your wellbeing? That’s long-term.
Saying no may ruffle feathers, but it also makes space for relationships that feel mutual, respectful, and aligned.
Saying No Is Saying Yes to You
Saying no isn’t just about turning things down.
It’s about turning toward what really matters: your peace, your family, your energy, and your joy.
You deserve to live a life that feels light, not loaded.
So next time you feel the pressure to say yes, take a breath and ask:
“If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to in myself?”
And trust that sometimes, the most loving thing you can say—to others and to yourself—is simply:
No.
by Beth Lewis | Apr 30, 2025 | Beth Lewis, Breathwork, Self Care
Motherhood is beautiful, but let’s be honest—it’s also overwhelming. Between sleepless nights, mental load, constant multitasking, and meeting everyone’s needs but your own, it’s easy to feel like you’re always “on.” If you’re living in a constant state of stress, irritability, or exhaustion, your nervous system may be crying out for support.
The good news? You don’t need a complete life overhaul to feel better. One of the simplest and most powerful tools you have is your breath.
Let’s explore why nervous system regulation matters so much for mums—and how breathwork can bring you back to balance.
💛 What Is Nervous System Regulation?
Your nervous system is your body’s internal alarm system. It responds to stress, danger, or demands by activating the sympathetic nervous system—aka your fight, flight, or freeze response. This is great when you’re in actual danger, but not so helpful when the “threat” is spilled cereal or a whiny toddler. (Unfortunately, your nervous system doesn’t know the difference between you being chased by a tiger, or being triggered by your child!)
Nervous system regulation is the ability to move out of that heightened stress state and into the parasympathetic state—the one that supports rest, connection, digestion, and emotional clarity.
When your nervous system is regulated, you feel:
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Calm but alert
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Emotionally grounded
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More patient and less reactive
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Able to think clearly and respond instead of explode
🌿 Why It Matters to Mums
Mums are often in chronic stress mode—juggling mental loads, emotional demands, and constant noise. Over time, this can lead to:
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Burnout
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Anxiety
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Emotional outbursts (aka mum rage)
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Sleep issues
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Exhaustion that coffee can’t fix
Regulating your nervous system isn’t just about feeling “calm”—it’s about helping your entire body function better, from your hormones to your digestion to your mood.
🚨 Signs Your Nervous System Is Out of Balance
If your nervous system is dysregulated, you might feel:
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Easily overwhelmed by noise, mess, or demands
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On edge or hyper-alert, even when nothing’s wrong
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Emotionally reactive—snapping at your kids or crying easily
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Unable to relax, even when the house is quiet
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Tired but wired (struggling to sleep or wake rested)
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Disconnected from yourself and your body
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. You’re also not broken.
🌬️ Powerful but Simple Ways to Regulate Your Nervous System
You don’t need hours at a retreat or a perfect routine to feel better. Nervous system regulation can be woven into your real life.
Try:
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Breathwork (more on this below!)
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Grounding: Barefoot on the grass, noticing sounds or textures around you
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Cold water splash: A quick way to reset when emotions spike
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Gentle movement: Walks, stretching, or shaking out tension
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Nourishing food and hydration: Eat ‘real food’ and drink filtered water
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Digital breaks: Less scrolling = less stimulation
The goal is to find tools that help you come home to yourself—not escape your life.
🌬️ How Breathwork Can Support Mums
Your breath is the most powerful, portable tool for nervous system regulation.
When we’re stressed, our breath becomes shallow and fast, sending danger signals to the brain. Breathwork flips that response—slow, intentional breathing tells your brain: “It’s safe. You’re okay.”
Here’s how breathwork helps:
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Activates the parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest)
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Reduces stress hormones like cortisol
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Helps you respond with clarity instead of react from overwhelm
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Improves sleep, digestion, cognitive function, and mood
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Connects you back to your body, presence, and power
✨ Simple Breathwork Practices for Busy Mums
You don’t need a quiet room or 30 free minutes to start. Here are mum-approved techniques:
🟡 Box Breathing (4-4-4-4)
Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4.
Repeat for 1-2 minutes.
🟡 Extended Exhale Breathing
Inhale for 4, exhale for 6–8.
The longer exhale activates the calming parasympathetic state.
🟡 Sigh It Out
Inhale deeply through your nose, then exhale with an open-mouth sigh.
Repeat 3–5 times to instantly reset tension.
Do it in the car, at the sink, or during nap time. It will make a difference.
🌻 You’re Not Broken—You’re Just Dysregulated
If you’ve been feeling like you can’t cope, like you’re snapping more than connecting, like you’re constantly on edge—this is your body asking for support. And it’s okay.
You are not failing. You are not too emotional. You are not broken.
You’re a mum with a dysregulated nervous system who just needs space to recalibrate.
And breathwork is a beautiful first step.
Start with one breath.
One moment of pause.
One act of care for the woman behind the “mum.”
Because when you take care of your nervous system, you’re not just doing it for yourself—you’re doing it for the whole family.
IMPORTANT NOTE:
Your body does not have an autonomic response to relax – you need to learn how to activate your parasympathetic nervous system, and breathwork is the best way to do this… and it’s free!
by Beth Lewis | Feb 26, 2025 | Beth Lewis, Blog, Self Care
Motherhood is a beautiful, fulfilling journey, but let’s be honest—it’s also exhausting. Between the never-ending to-do lists, sleepless nights, and emotional demands, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. If you’ve ever found yourself running on empty, snapping at your kids, or feeling like you just can’t do this anymore – you might be experiencing mum burnout.
Burnout isn’t just about being tired. It’s deep, chronic exhaustion that affects your body, mind, and emotions. The good news? You can recover from it and prevent it from taking over your life. Let’s dive into what mum burnout really looks like and, more importantly, how you can recharge and reclaim your energy.
Mum burnout is chronic physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged stress, high expectations, and a lack of self-care. Unlike everyday tiredness, burnout leaves you feeling completely depleted, detached, and often resentful of your responsibilities.
It happens when you give and give—without ever taking time to refill your own cup.
If you’re wondering whether you’re dealing with burnout or just the usual exhaustion of motherhood, here are some red flags:
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Constant Fatigue – No matter how much sleep you get, you still feel drained.
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Irritability & Short Temper – You find yourself snapping at your kids or partner over small things.
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Emotional Detachment – You feel numb, disconnected, or like you’re going through the motions.
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Overwhelm & Anxiety – Even small tasks feel like too much to handle.
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Feeling Unappreciated – You start resenting the fact that no one seems to notice all that you do.
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Loss of Joy – Activities that once made you happy no longer bring you pleasure.
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Physical Symptoms – Headaches, muscle tension, stomach issues, or frequent illnesses due to stress.
If any of these sound familiar, it’s time to take burnout seriously. Ignoring it won’t make it go away—it’ll only make things worse.
The first step to healing from burnout is acknowledging that you deserve rest and care too. Here’s how to start your recovery:
1. Give Yourself Permission to Rest
Burnout happens when we push through exhaustion instead of listening to our bodies. It’s okay to pause. You don’t have to do everything right now.
Action Step: Give yourself permission to rest without guilt. Even if it’s just 10 minutes of sitting quietly with a cup of tea, start somewhere.
2. Stop Trying to Be Supermum
Society places enormous pressure on mums to “do it all,” but perfection is impossible. The house doesn’t have to be spotless. Your kids don’t need gourmet meals every night. Let go of the pressure to be everything to everyone.
Action Step: Choose one thing to
let go of this week—whether it’s an unnecessary chore, a commitment, or an unrealistic expectation.
3. Ask for Help (and Accept It!)
You are not meant to do this alone. Whether it’s your partner, family, or friends, ask for help when you need it. If someone offers to watch the kids or cook a meal—say yes!
Action Step: Reach out to one person today and ask for support with something small.
4. Prioritise Yourself—Even in Small Ways
Self-care isn’t about spa days (although that would be nice!). It’s about doing small things every day that make you feel human again.
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Take a shower in peace.
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Read a chapter of a book.
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Go for a 10-minute walk.
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Eat a meal while actually sitting down.
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Drink your coffee while it’s still hot!
Action Step: Write down
one self-care activity you can do today—and do it.
5. Set Boundaries & Learn to Say No
If you’re constantly overcommitting and feeling drained, it’s time to set boundaries. You do not have to attend every event, volunteer for every school function, or say yes to every favour.
Action Step: Practice saying no to something that doesn’t serve you. Protect your energy.
6. Reconnect with Yourself
Motherhood can make you feel like you’ve lost you. Take time to reconnect with who you are outside of being a mum. What did you love before kids? What lights you up?
Action Step: Spend 30 minutes this week doing something
just for you—whether it’s journaling, painting, exercising, or watching your favourite show.
7. Seek Professional Help
If you’re feeling persistently overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed, reach out!
Working with a Coach, or Therapist will fast track you to feeling more energised – mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.
Burnout can take a serious toll on your overall health, and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.
It’s always a good idea to check in with Naturopath, or Integrative GP who can test all your levels. Our bodies need the right fuel to feel energised and when we’re out of balance internally, this can have a serious impact on our mental and emotional health. (Over 90% of your serotonin is manufactured in your gut, so whatever action you take, note that a holistic approach will always be the most powerful step to an energised life!)
Action Step: If burnout feels unmanageable, consider talking to a professional who can guide you toward healing.
Mum burnout is real, but it’s not a life sentence. You are not failing—you’re just human. And just like you care for your kids, you deserve that same love and care.
So today, I encourage you to take one small step toward
recharging your energy and
reclaiming your joy. Because when you take care of yourself, you’re not just doing it for you—you’re doing it for your family too.
