Why One-on-One Time With Each Child Matters

Why One-on-One Time With Each Child Matters

Let’s be honest—parenting can feel like a constant juggle. Between making lunches, wiping down benches, breaking up sibling arguments, and replying to school emails… it’s easy to get stuck in survival mode.

And in all the chaos, we can sometimes miss the most important part of it all—connection.

One-on-one time with each of your kids doesn’t just sound like a sweet idea. It’s one of the most powerful ways to help them feel seen, heard, and loved for exactly who they are.

No interruptions. No sharing your attention. Just you and them.

Even five minutes can make a world of difference.

Why One-on-One Time Really Matters

Because each of your kids is a whole world of their own.

And as much as you love them all, it’s hard to truly tune in when everyone’s talking over each other, someone’s yelling from the bathroom, and you’re trying to cook dinner without burning the rice (again).

When you spend time with one child at a time:

  1. You get to slow down and really see them

  2. They get to feel special, not just “one of the pack”

  3. The tension between siblings often softens (because they’re not competing for your attention)

  4. They’re more likely to open up, cooperate, and feel connected

You’ll probably notice: their behaviour shifts, their energy calms, and your bond deepens.

And yours does too.

 

Why It Feels So Hard to Do

You might be thinking:

  1. “I barely get five minutes to pee alone.”

  2. “My schedule is already full.”

  3. “I feel guilty I haven’t done this already.”

Hey—no guilt needed here.

You’re doing your best with what you have. One-on-one time isn’t about doing more. It’s about doing small moments with more intention.

 

How to Make It Happen (Without Overcomplicating It)

You don’t need a full day or a Pinterest-worthy activity. Connection lives in the tiny, quiet, everyday moments.

1. Use What You’re Already Doing

Turn ordinary into meaningful:

  1. Take one child grocery shopping and let them pick a treat

  2. Ask one to help you cook (yes, it’ll be messier—but they’ll love it)

  3. Sit on the edge of their bed for five minutes and ask about their day

2. Schedule It (Even 15 Minutes)

Pop it in your calendar like you would a meeting or appointment. A simple “You and Me Time” on a Sunday arvo or after school can go a long way.

Let them know it’s their time. It builds anticipation and deepens the bond.

3. Let Them Take the Lead

Ask: “What would you love to do, just you and me?”

It could be playing LEGO, drawing, a walk around the block, or just cuddling on the couch watching Bluey. It doesn’t need to be fancy.

4. Embrace Micro-Moments

If all you have is five minutes in the car or while folding laundry—use it. It’s not about the amount of time. It’s about how present you are in it.

Put down your phone. Look them in the eyes. Listen fully.

That’s the magic.

 

If You’re Feeling Behind…

Please don’t beat yourself up if this isn’t something you’ve done lately. Life is busy. You’re likely giving your all and then some.

This isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence.

You don’t need to get it “right.” You just need to show up.

Even the smallest moment of one-on-one time can leave the biggest imprint on their heart.

 

What They’ll Remember

Not the toys. Not the snacks. Not even whether you were late to school pick-up.

They’ll remember how you made them feel.

They’ll remember when you listened.

When you laughed at their joke.

When they had you—all to themselves.

And you’ll remember it too.

Because these are the moments that refill your cup as much as theirs.

Stay Patient When Your Kids Push Your Limits

Stay Patient When Your Kids Push Your Limits

Parenting is one of the most rewarding experiences, but let’s be real—it’s also one of the most testing. Whether it’s tantrums, endless “why” questions, fighting siblings, or refusing to listen, there are moments when our patience is stretched thin.
You love your kids, but that doesn’t mean you won’t feel frustrated or overwhelmed. The key isn’t to never lose patience (because let’s face it, we’re human), but rather to find ways to stay calm and respond, instead of react.
 
If you’re feeling like you’re one meltdown away from a meltdown yourself, here are some practical ways to keep your cool and stay patient, even when your kids are pushing your limits.
 

1. Take a Deep Breath (or Five!)

It sounds simple, but in the heat of the moment, taking a deep breath before reacting can make a world of difference. When we’re frustrated, our body goes into stress mode, and our brain defaults to quick, emotional reactions. Taking a breath gives you a pause—a chance to choose patience over frustration.
Try This:
  • Before reacting, take 5 slow, deep breaths (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 2, exhale for 6).
  • Imagine yourself breathing in calm and exhaling frustration.
  • Walk away for a moment if needed. It’s okay to take a pause.
Patience isn’t about never feeling frustrated—it’s about learning how to manage those feelings before they take over.
 
 

2. Reframe the Situation: It’s Not Personal

When your child is having a meltdown or repeatedly ignoring instructions, it can feel like they’re intentionally testing your limits. But in most cases, they’re not trying to drive you crazy—they’re just being kids.
Try This:
  • Instead of thinking, Why are they doing this to me?! try asking, What’s really going on here?
  • Remind yourself: Your child isn’t giving you a hard time, they’re having a hard time.
  • Stay curious—could they be tired, hungry, overstimulated, or needing connection?
Shifting your mindset from “They’re being difficult” to “They’re struggling” helps you respond with understanding instead of frustration.
 

3. Lower Your Expectations (for Them & Yourself!)

Let’s be honest—sometimes our frustration comes from expecting too much from our kids. We want them to listen the first time, behave perfectly in public, and never argue. But they’re learning, growing, and testing boundaries—it’s part of childhood.
Try This:
  • Remind yourself of their age and stage—a toddler isn’t going to sit still for long, and a 6-year-old will struggle with emotional regulation.
  • Adjust your own expectations—you’re not supposed to be a perfect parent. You’re learning too!
  • Celebrate the small wins instead of focusing on what’s not going right.
Sometimes, just adjusting your expectations can relieve frustration before it even begins.
 

4. Create a “Patience Plan” for Difficult Moments

Instead of waiting until you’re already frustrated, create a simple plan for how you’ll handle challenging moments in advance.
Try This:
  • When your patience is running low, use a mantra like “I am calm. I am present. I’m okay.”
  • Have a go-to strategy—whether it’s stepping outside, counting to 10, or taking a sip of water.
  • If needed, remove yourself from the situation for a moment to regain composure.
Preparing ahead of time makes it easier to stay patient when emotions are high.
 

5. Use Humour to Diffuse Tension

Sometimes, the best way to reset a tense moment is to find the humour in it. Kids have a way of doing the most ridiculous things at the most inconvenient times. Instead of letting frustration build, lean into the chaos and laugh when you can.
Try This:
  • If your child is throwing a fit over something minor, try making a silly face or using a goofy voice.
  • Turn a frustrating situation into a game (e.g., racing to clean up toys instead of nagging).
  • Remind yourself: One day, you’ll probably laugh about this moment!
Not everything needs to be serious. A little humour can go a long way in keeping your patience intact.
 

6. Take Care of Yourself (Because Burnout = No Patience)

It’s so much harder to stay patient when you’re running on empty. If you’re constantly exhausted, overstimulated, and overwhelmed, even minor frustrations can feel impossible to handle.
Try This:
  • Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, food, and breaks.
  • Schedule 5-10 minutes of self-care daily (even if it’s just a quiet cup of tea).
  • Ask for help when you need it—you don’t have to do it all alone.
A well-rested, emotionally balanced mum is naturally more patient. Prioritise yourself too!
 

7. Repair & Apologise When You Lose Patience

Let’s be real—we all lose our patience sometimes. But what matters is how we handle it afterward.
Try This:
  • If you snap at your child, take a moment to calm down and apologise.
  • Say something like, “I got frustrated, and I’m sorry for yelling. I love you, and I’ll try to handle my emotions better next time.”
  • Teach your child that it’s okay to make mistakes—and how to repair them.
Apologising shows your kids that even parents have big feelings—and that love is always stronger than frustration.
 
 

Patience is a Practice, Not Perfection

Staying patient when your kids are pushing your limits isn’t always easy, but it is possible. The goal isn’t to never feel frustrated—it’s to learn how to manage those feelings before they turn into reactions you regret.
So next time you feel your patience slipping, pause, take a breath, and remind yourself:
  • You’re doing your best.
  • This moment will pass.
  • You are a great mum—even on tough days.