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Why Mums Need Positive Self-Talk Every Day

Why Mums Need Positive Self-Talk Every Day

by | Apr 23, 2025 | Beth Lewis, Self Care

Let’s face it—being a mum is tough. You’re juggling countless responsibilities, constantly making decisions for others, and navigating the emotional rollercoaster of motherhood. In the middle of it all, it’s easy to become your own harshest critic.

You forgot the school excursion note? You’re so disorganised.

Lost your cool after a long day? You’re a bad mum.

Didn’t get to that load of washing? You’re lazy.

Sound familiar?

The inner dialogue we carry can either uplift us or tear us down. That’s where the power of positive self-talk comes in. It’s not about ignoring challenges or pretending everything is perfect—it’s about choosing to speak to yourself with the same compassion you give everyone else.

Here’s why being kinder to yourself as a mum is more than just a feel-good strategy—it’s essential.

1. Your Words Shape Your Reality

The way you speak to yourself impacts how you feel, how you act, and what you believe. Constant negative self-talk leads to guilt, burnout, and low self-esteem. On the other hand, supportive and kind inner dialogue can boost your confidence and resilience.

Try This:

When you catch yourself thinking, “I’m not good enough,” reframe it:

“I’m doing my best, and that’s enough today.”

2. Kids Learn by Watching You

Your children are always observing. When they see you being hard on yourself, they learn to be hard on themselves too. But if they see you showing self-compassion, picking yourself up after mistakes, and speaking with kindness, they’ll learn to do the same.

Try This:

Say things out loud like, “That was tricky, but I’m proud of how I handled it.”

It teaches them that imperfection is human—and kindness is powerful.

3. Perfection Isn’t the Goal—Presence Is

So many mums hold themselves to impossible standards. But your children don’t need a perfect mum. They need a present, emotionally available, and loving one. You can’t show up as your best self if you’re constantly tearing yourself down inside.

Try This:

Swap “I didn’t do enough today” for:

“I showed up with love, and that matters more than ticking every box.”

4. Positive Self-Talk Builds Emotional Strength

Motherhood tests you in every way—physically, mentally, emotionally. A supportive inner voice helps you bounce back from tough moments, learn from mistakes, and keep going with grace.

Try This:

Create a few go-to affirmations for when life feels heavy:

  1. “I am learning and growing every day.”

  2. “It’s okay to ask for help.”

  3. “I am doing enough. I am enough.”

5. Being Kind to Yourself Reduces Mum Guilt

Mum guilt is a universal experience, but it doesn’t have to control your life. Positive self-talk is a powerful tool to challenge guilt and replace it with understanding.

Try This:

When guilt creeps in, ask: “Would I say this to my best friend?”

If not, don’t say it to yourself either.

6. Self-Compassion is Self-Care

Kind self-talk is a daily act of self-care. It reminds you that your worth isn’t tied to productivity, perfection, or how smoothly the day goes. It centres your humanity and helps you meet yourself with grace.

Try This:

At the end of each day, say one kind thing to yourself.

It could be as simple as: “Today was hard, and I made it through.”

You Deserve Your Own Kindness

Motherhood is full of lessons – and one of the most important is learning to treat yourself the way you treat your children: with empathy, patience, and love.

You are not your mistakes.

You are not your to-do list.

You are not alone.

You are a human being, doing your best, and you deserve to be spoken to with kindness – especially by the voice you hear the most: your own.

So next time your inner critic pipes up, pause and ask yourself:

“What would love say?”

Because, Mumma, you’re doing better than you think. 💛

IMPORTANT NOTE:

If you truly struggle to reframe your negative self-talk to something more positive, please reach out for support. The key to shifting this is to heal your inner-critic, which is generally connected to your inner-child – who’s in desperate need of love and compassion.

This can be an unconscious pattern that was learned when you were young, and we can create new neural pathways and belief systems to help you feel more connected to yourself, and worthy of love and support.

Book a free Support Session here to find out how.

The Best Self-Love Practices for Mums Who Feel Overlooked

The Best Self-Love Practices for Mums Who Feel Overlooked

by | Apr 7, 2025 | Beth Lewis, Self Care

As a mum, it’s easy to pour your energy into everyone else—your kids, your partner, your work, your home—while putting your own needs on the back burner. Over time, that self-neglect can leave you feeling invisible, undervalued, and disconnected from who you really are.

If you’ve ever thought, “Does anyone even see me?”—you’re not alone.

But here’s the truth: You are worthy of love, care, and appreciation, especially from yourself. Self-love isn’t selfish. It’s the foundation of wellbeing, and the key to showing up for your family from a place of wholeness rather than depletion.

Here are the best self-love practices for mums who feel overlooked—designed to nourish your heart, lift your spirit, and remind you that you matter too.

1. Start with Gentle Self-Talk

If your inner voice is filled with criticism or guilt, it’s time for a mindset shift. You deserve to speak to yourself with the same kindness and compassion you offer your kids.

Try This:

  1. Replace “I’m failing” with “I’m doing my best.”
  2. Begin the day with a kind affirmation like, “I am worthy of love and care.”

Words shape our reality. Let yours be uplifting.

2. Create Tiny Moments Just for You

Self-love doesn’t require hours of free time (though that’s lovely!). It’s about small, consistent moments that reconnect you with you.

Try This:

  1. Sip your coffee in silence before the house wakes up.
  2. Read one page of a book, or listen to a podcast that inspires you.
  3. Take 5 minutes outside to breathe in fresh air.

These pockets of presence add up.

3. Reclaim Something You Love Doing

Remember what made you feel like you before motherhood? Reclaim it.

Try This:

  1. Revisit a hobby (even for 10 minutes a week).
  2. Sign up for that class or creative project.
  3. Make space for something that’s just yours—no guilt.

Self-love is remembering that you are a whole person, not just a role.

4. Write Yourself a Love Note

Yes, really. When was the last time you acknowledged yourself?

Try This:

Write a short note or journal entry that celebrates:

  1. What you’ve overcome
  2. What you’re proud of
  3. What makes you special

Pin it on your mirror. Read it when you forget how amazing you are.

5. Nourish Your Body with Intention

Fueling your body with love is an act of self-respect. You don’t need to follow a strict wellness plan—just tune in to what your body needs.

Try This:

  1. Drink more water.
  2. Eat nourishing foods that make you feel energised.
  3. Stretch or move in a way that feels good.

Honour your body like the powerhouse it is.

6. Set Boundaries That Protect Your Energy

When you feel overlooked, it may be because your needs are always last. Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about showing yourself love and respect.

Try This:

  1. Say no without guilt when your plate is full.
  2. Ask for help instead of doing it all.
  3. Protect time in your week that’s just for you.

You teach others how to treat you by how you treat yourself.

7. Celebrate Small Wins Every Day

Motherhood is made of tiny victories—getting everyone dressed, keeping calm during chaos, showing up when it’s hard. These wins matter.

Try This:

At the end of each day, write down 1-3 things you did well.

Big or small, they’re proof that you’re doing an incredible job.

8. Surround Yourself with Uplifting People

You don’t have to do this alone. Surround yourself with people who remind you of your worth, not drain it.

Try This:

  1. Join a supportive mums’ group.
  2. Follow accounts online that promote self-love and real motherhood.
  3. Spend time with friends who lift you up.

You deserve to be seen, heard, and celebrated.

You Are Not Invisible – You Are Invaluable

If you’ve been feeling overlooked, know this: you don’t need outside validation to begin loving yourself again. Self-love is the daily decision to treat yourself with kindness, even when the world is chaotic. Especially then.

Start small. Speak kindly to yourself. Take one moment today to honour your needs.

Because when you treat yourself like someone who matters—you become someone who remembers their worth.

And Mumma, you matter more than you know.